5 fundamental truths about parenting : Most of us, as parents began the parenting journey...

5 fundamental truths about parenting : Most of us, as parents began the parenting journey...: Most of us, as parents began the parenting journey with a lot of mixed feelings, joy, excitement, anxiety, bouts of feeling high and low. T...

Most of us, as parents began the parenting journey with a lot of mixed feelings, joy, excitement, anxiety, bouts of feeling high and low. This blog is to help you realise that you aren't alone in this roller coaster ride.

There are common fundamental problems in parenting and when we recognise them, the journey becomes smooth sailing.

Here's a list of fundamentals we must understand:

1. Failures are really the pillars of success: Each one of us have toiled through days and nights changing nappies, holding an unwell child, having sleepless nights, failed to understand the endless crying. Then as the child grows, the various growth milestones that bog us down. Someone's child walks faster and the other one's talks faster while your child may still be babbling or crawling. In the midst of all this we forget, that everything has it's own time. We often feel run down by what the society thinks or says about us as parents. A neighbour may think that you're not doing justice to parenthood just because you are a working mother. Another one may raise fingers saying that you don't cook food like your mother in law. We weren't born to do things perfectly. We don't have all the knowledge required and it is okay to make mistakes while you are on the parenting job. We often feel a sense of failure when we do not see our child progressing at the same pace as others due to external pressures. These failures that you are so afraid of, actually teach you to pick yourself up over and over again, until you succeed.

2. Pain is inevitable: Sometimes parenting can be painful. We have all sorts of issues with children; the white lies, sibling rivalries, fussy eaters, complaining and whining kids, addiction to gadgets, moody etc. How do we get our children to follow the right path? Nobody was born with perfect parenting skills. It is going to happen- all emotions you will feel deeply, cause life is not a bed of roses. There is absolutely no gain without pain. These sufferings only make you stronger. Everything we experience here is to teach us only to better ourselves, with our parenting skills.

3. Parenting is not a competition: Many of us have faced these common dilemmas; What if by quitting the competitive parent game my kids are doomed to a life of mediocrity? On the other hand, what if by withdrawing from the rat race my child has a chance to grow into the person they are meant to be? We don't even realise that we were pulled into this game right from the time of conception. To begin with, who is following which diet, to breast feed versus bottle feed, which is later followed by home versus working parent debate. As the child grows it moves to report grades and establishing a name in the society.
You have brought this child into the universe, but it is not yours to decide his/her future. Children come with their own set of strengths and weaknesses, while you may decide to make your child a doctor, he/she may want to be a sportsperson. Your force of turning your child into what you want may make him mediocre in life; however if he/she chooses their own scope of work they may rise above mediocrity.

4. We are all in this together: No matter what a neighbour tells you about how progressive their child has been or how they admire the quality of their child being a quick learner, the fact remains that we all are battling some where. Take a good look around and you will see everyone is a mirror image of one another. The best attitude is to support each other with ups and downs. Share your failure and success stories with each other. We are all in here to evolve together and it is when we realise this, accepting ourselves and our child can become just a bit easier. Understanding this fact and our dependability on each other is a victory in itself.

5. Life is short, live it: In the midst of all these day to day issues, we forget to live in this moment with our children. When you aren't being in the present moment, you become a victim of time and your mind is pulled back and forth into the past and future both. It's this time that we stop realising the true potential of our child. We miss upon rejoicing their developments, their happiness, their wanting the need to be with you, next to you.

We need to ask ourselves these questions:

Are we so distracted by thoughts of Monday morning that we spoil the time spent with our child on the weekend?

Are we so caught up in regrets of the past that we prevent opportunity blossoming with our child in the present?

Are the opinions of others stopping you from being a good parent?

Parenting as a whole is a beautiful experience and these phases are like passing clouds. Understanding problems in parenting and dealing them with tact and presence of mind is the best way. Live today, live this moment with your child as time is not measured by clocks but by moments!!!

You are the best parent you could ever be!!

Happy parenting!

References:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com

https://www.pocketmindfulness.com
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